Primus Canada Sucks Redux
So, just when you figure you can go about your business without ever having to think about the fuckwits at Primus Canada again, they actively seek you out:
Now, this is amusing on two levels:
- Do they not purge malcontents (like me) from their mailing list? and/or…
- Is sending me promotional material a passive-aggressive retaliation for my online badmouthing of their unending stupidity? (Eminently searchable, by the way, as this blog’s referral reports clearly indicate, but you can read about it directly here and here)
So, basically, they’re trying to get me to sign up for their Primus Home Phone service a mere three months after refusing to provide me with TalkBroadband service. Idiots.
But, get this: they also sent this same letter to my boyfriend, Champ, who is already a subscriber to their TalkBroadband service at a rate of $15/month less than what is offered in the letter, above.
“Sure, Primus Canada, you fuckin’ morons, I’ll cancel my Primus TalkBroadband ‘Service’ to subscribe to your more-expensive and less-feature-laden Primus Home Phone ‘Service’!”
In the spirit of solidarity against the unrelenting stupidity of Primus Canada, please, Let’sBreakGlass.
Filed under: Bad Ads, Bad Behaviour, Stupidity | 3 Comments
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Copyright © 2006, 2007 B Stewart. All rights reserved.
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Ok, So I am finally getting out from the handcuffs of The PRIMUS DSL HELL adventure (or decent into hell) and now 5 months after signing with this horrible company they screw up 2 or 3 times more. They sent me a Canada Expresspost envelope to return my modem. Same day same mail I get another Expresspost envelope with a different reference number to return the same modem. OF course I only have one modem and I email to them this fact and they tell me to mark duplicate on the 2nd envelope and put it in the shipment with the modem. I expressly asked them to make sure to cancel the 2nd envelope or the computer would hound me forever for the return of the modem in the 2nd envelop which does not exist. I have some faith in God but not Pimus/Wintel. At least I have them acknowledging the 2nd envelope in my email and their instructions. I hope they don’t screw this up again. SO I take the modem package to the posy office and send it off and when I get home there is another envelope form Primus / Winte and in it was another Experssspost envelope requesting the same modem. Below is my correspondence with them on this issue. If they scare this up they will be charging me for at least 2 modems I never had at $200 each.
Oh yes, When the big day came to end my “service” with PRIMUS/WINTEL, they did not release the line so my new provider through Bell wire could not connect my modem. So Bell and ASERTY in Ottawa are trying to find out why I don’t have service and it is only because Primus/Wintel screwed up again. When they finally release the line my DSL worked but we all went through more hell trying to figure out why the new service would not work. All of this stuff is so time consuming.
So many letters to write to Primus/Wintel and trips to the post office and…………….. well just don’t do it. I recommend that you never sign for any service with this company unless you have vast amounts of time and patience and lots of Prosac.
I plan to make a movie about items which should be shipped with the PRIMUS modem like knee pads for crawling under you desk a million times and referrals to a good divorce lawyer.
Any suggestions please submit them to sutlaf@yahoo.com
Account 2406440
3rd modem return envelope just arrived
Hi MAx: I had terminated my “service” some time ago. I received 2 envelopes to return 1 modem via canada post (see letter below). You advised me to put second envelope in box and mark it duplicate and return to Primus which I did the other day. Same day I get another envelope from you with a Canada Post envelope inside. This one is ref:
a9112402149
barcode 7001 2801 1252 1497
Now what do I do? I am afraid to do anything. Everything has gone wrong since I became a PRIMUS customer in July 2006 and in that time enjoyed 11 days of DSL connectivity. The first 12 days of spectacular “service” my phone would not ring if someone called me and of course DSL did not work. So I incurred cell charges. But that is another story Should I keep the envelope and pray? Return it empty with Canada post? At least I will have a stamp on your letter. Deliver it to your office somewhere in Toronto?
I just don’t know. I have written a short satire to go along with all of this.
. A satire. It is attached and I welcome primus employee input. Someone there must have a sense of humour.
I am still being automatically billed for a service I enjoyed for 11 days in 5 months of primus dsl hell. I wonder if the billing will ever stop????
There is a movie in that too.
Anyway if you can figure out what I can safely do with this envelope and not be hounded for the rest of my life by PRIMUS collection agency dogs because something got screwed up please let me know. I don’t want to be on the hook for a modem that never existed.
This is just great.,…. While I am writing this I stopped to figure out the the lost revenue stream to PRIMUS/WINTEL from the 3 households plus mine I discouraged from using your “service”.. I sent them to ASERTY in Ottawa.
Just as I come up with a number in my head (about $3,600 per year or $18,000 over 5 years) My friend /dentist phones to ask me what I am doing and I tell her my Primus problems. She says she was thinking about a mailing she had from you about a phone package and DSL light (what’s that?) I discouraged her in no uncertain terms from signing on. I told her that Primus has been one of the worst experiences of my life. She always takes my advice. She meets lots of people every day. I hope she spreads the word. She loves to talk. Her customers usually have machinery in their mouths so she has to do all of the talking anyway. This really did happen 30 minutes ago. Perfect !!!
I would really like to see the billing stop sometime. Any ideas? An estimate? I don’t really like being charged for something I didn’t get if you know what I mean. It is more than rude! 11 days of DSL and $100’s of dollars and a shot immune system.
Anyway here is my original envelope letter to you and your reply. . Please ….. any employees who want to sing about the company or have something to say let me know. I would love to hear it and put it up on my blog. I will be posting nationwide on craigslist looking for people who want to comment about PRIMUS. It is only fair that potential PRIMUS customers know what they are signing on for.
Regards
Robert mad as hell
Lost 180 hours of life and $400 with Primus.
The story continues. I wonder how many more envelopes I will get and how many more of these stupid letters I will have to write to you?
Ps I AM NOT THREATENING ANYTHING WITH THIS LETTER. THIS IS JUST ON MY MIND AS I WORK OUT THE BEST COURSE OF ACTION FOR ME TO TAKE. My car is being decorated with a PRIMUS message in rather large white letters on dark green paint. It will look great! I may even do a bumper sticker for all of the people who think ill of the company.
Customer care
Re: return of DSL modem
I cancelled my Primus/Wintel DSL service because it never worked. A replacement modem was sent by you to me and the original returned in your Canada Post envelope long ago. The second modem did not work either. “Service” was cancelled at my request. Now I am in possession of 2 requests for return of one modem. Which envelope shall I use and will you cancel the other envelope as I presume you are tracking the number. The envelope bar code numbers are
7001 2801 0353 9531 ref: A9111503953
7001 2800 9452 4042 ref: A9110602404
Please understand that I have one modem and two envelopes. I don’t want Primus/Wintel tracking me to the grave for a return that does not exist. If you do not understand the situation please contact me. Please choose and envelope to be used and a cancellation of the other or instructions as to what to do with it. Do you know how this happened? I hope the billing stops for this account.
Yours truly
Robert
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PRIMUS/ WINTEL and will be submitted to XXXXXXXXXX others. It will be funny and sad)
Primus employees PAST AND PRESENT are invited to add their own suggestions to the additional equipment list. Comments from Primus Wintel employees about the company and it’s attitude towards employees and customers are invited to a special blog celebrating this terrible company. The blog is an assembly of negative comments about the company gathered from around the world especially Australia where PRIMUS is particularly loathed
PRIMUS / WINTELDSLHELL “stop surfing and start waiting”
MY DSL HELL WITH PRIMUS / WINTEL
Suggested essential equipment not included with your new Primus modem
Speakerphone – absolutely essential as you will be on hold for countless house waiting for their tech people (or person) to help you with your problem. You will be waiting, and waiting, and waiting forever so in order to have a life and maybe even go to the bathroom. Maybe keep a little container beside the computer for bladder relief because the minute you go to the bathroom for sure they will come on the line, not find you there and hang up. If you are in the bathroom, make sure that you stop urinating before you start running back to the phone and computer.
TIP: have a wireless phone parked close to the speaker phone so that if you must pass something more dramatic than pee you can settle in and relax enough to do your duty by engaging both phones on the line at the same time for from the bathroom monitoring. or other chores. Don’t drown the baby either!!!!
Batteries – have a truckload on hand for that speakerphone. You will need them guaranteed.
Prozac- Like the batteries have lots on hand. You will need it to calm you down after wasting 2 hours of your life trying to sort out your dsl so called “service”. Don’t kick the cat, take a Prozac. Don’t scream at your mate, take a Prozac. Don’t injure your fists punching the desk , take a Prozac.
Rumor has it that Primus will be packing a supply of Prozac with every DSL modem shipped. Wow! Free Prozac. Now that’s thoughtful !
Soft punchable object – Keep a soft object close by (like a stuffed chair) to punch when you get off the phone with Primus service for the 50th time.
A good cardiac care physician and a supply of aspirins. Don’t forget your blood pressure medication if you are in need. You may also experience spontaneous arthritic conditions from the increased cortizol in your bloodstream. This is a normal stress induced reaction. Pain usually subsides when you cancel your Primus DSL “service”.
Kneepads – (absolutely essential) you will be on your hands and knees plenty unhooking wires and doing startups over and over again in an effort to resolve your “issues”. Primus will exhaust you trying to figure out what is wrong. If you have a helmet that is only smart because you are guaranteed to bang your head dozens of times.
Exercise – exercise and get in shape so you may more easily crawl under desks and reach into awkward spots undoing various communications equipment which will “interfere ” with you primus DSL service.
Lawyer – highly recommended is a good divorce lawyer and / or marriage councilor for the inevitable Primus induced marriage breakdown. Be prepared. She won’t talk to you? Can you blame her now that you are a Primus monster and go to bed with a scowl on your face?
Rage? Yes you now know true rage and your mate feels it.
Veterinarian- make sure you have a good 24-hour veterinarian available who specializes in the repair the ribs broke when your shoe met the cats side. Don’t hurt the cat. Don’t kill the cat. Cats don’t know anything about lousy service and equipment that does not work. They don’t know about endlessly crawling under things to unhook cables and re-start and shut down and wait and wait and wait. They have never been on hold on the phone endlessly waiting to talk to someone they can barely hear because of noise on the line. They have never seen PRIMUS debit their credit card forever for service never provided. Hell, cats don’t even have a credit card or a need for DSL. They have only heard of PRIMUS! when you screamed it out late at night when you have finally given up and stomped off to the bedroom.
Alcohol – put all alcohol and sharp objects away. Primus is not worth ruining your liver or going to jail for.
Just visiting, not sure how I got here….well, hi there. You cooled off any?
-T
Been waiting on the phone for about 30 mins now to talk to a human. Thats 30 minuets of my life Im never gettinh back,