Archive for July, 2006

Who eats, like, an entire coil of garlic kielbasa right before boarding a nearly-four-hour (including runway wait time) flight from Houston to Toronto, and sits right beside innocent (sort of), law-abiding (mostly) citizens who didn’t do anything to deserve it? And who polishes off another half-coil during the flight?

Mom reviews Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest: it’s too loud! it’s too scary for little kids; I’m surprised Walt Disney let it out in this form! is Johnny supposed to be gay? it’s a wonder parents aren’t in and out throughout the whole thing, taking their kids to the bathroom; it’s that long! oh, that […]

Apropos of nothing at all, but really fun, here’s a photo of John Travolta from the set of Wild Hogs, a scene in which he and an equally-flabby Tim Allen and Martin Lawrence are, essentially, sexually harrassed (in a really comedic, Tim-Allen-and-Martin-Lawrence kinda way, not in a Ned-Beatty-squealing-like-a-pig kinda way) by a naked gay man […]

A phenomenon I like to call “Inching Toward the Truth”, overheard waiting for the light to change this morning outside Starbucks™: Queen 1: I just can’t function until I’ve had my morning coffee. Queen 2: That’s more than just a “coffee”, sweetie, that’s a Caramel Macchiato™. Queen 1: I know, I just needed to treat […]

Even more exciting than the fact that the Strangers With Candy movie exceeded my lowered expectations (as a result of so many die-hard SwC series fans who’ve expressed disappointment), was the fact that Toronto’s Cumberland Theatre audience, much-hated for their loudly-vocal self-satisfaction at being such daringly alternative cinéastes simply because they’re seeing a movie not-starring Tom […]

Continuing an informal competition between Canada and the United States of America, based on a series of completely arbitrary, wildly unfair and predictably mean-spirited criteria. #3: Unmasculine, Overhyped, Former National “Idol”s Evidence:         Canadian Idol K/a/l/a/n P/o/r/t/e/r    American Almost-Idol C/l/a/y A/i/k/e/n Advantage: None. Sorry, the overhype surrounding made-for-TV personalities devoid of unique talent (or a reasonably interesting repertoire) makes […]

Don’t read this, Mom. I know, I know, I’m totally late to the party on this, but amid all the brouhaha over Lance Armstrong’s painfully lame, homophobic-fratboy, anal-sex “joke” at Jake Gyllenhaal’s expense at last week’s ESPY Awards (see clip below), there seemed to be, I dunno, something missing. I thought it odd that no one pointed […]