Take Your Ball and Go Home


Don’t read this, Mom.

I know, I know, I’m totally late to the party on this, but amid all the brouhaha over Lance Armstrong’s painfully lame, homophobic-fratboy, anal-sex “joke” at Jake Gyllenhaal’s expense at last week’s ESPY Awards (see clip below), there seemed to be, I dunno, something missing.

I thought it odd that no one pointed out that worse than the joke itself was Armstrong’s predictable (and even lamer) backpedalling (heh, get it?), suggesting that those who thought he was actually referring to Gyllenhaal enjoying penetration by another man were “sick people”. Because, golly, even the idea of Jake Gyllenhaal taking it in the stern is sick.

You know, for someone who spends vast amounts of time with (and who owes his entire fortune and notoriety to) a long, stiff object rubbing up against his manhole, repeatedly grinding against his anus while surrounded by muscular and sweaty men, Lance Armstrong has a lot of ball, casting aspersions on those who do exactly the same for a lot less money and no celebrity at all.  Douchebag.

6 Responses to “Take Your Ball and Go Home”

  1. 1 bstewart23

    …and, is it just me, or does Lance Armstrong look like he’s really, really enjoying his good friend (and biking buddy) Jake Gyllenhaal’s company?

  2. 2 no wonder sheryl split

    omg, yeah. i mean i woulda gone with the first joke, it was stupid but kinda funny in a wordplay way, but then ‘the sick’ part really showed his colours….

  3. 3 Unfamous

    I think Mr. Armstrong prefers his special friend Matthew McConaughey

  4. 5 Al

    “A lot of ball” just about killed me.

  5. 6 Mr Skin

    Jake is so hot! Anybody know what his next film will be?

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