North America Cup #3

21Jul06

Continuing an informal competition between Canada and the United States of America, based on a series of completely arbitrary, wildly unfair and predictably mean-spirited criteria.

#3: Unmasculine, Overhyped, Former National “Idol”s

Evidence:

Canadian Idol's K/a/l/a/n P/o/r/t/e/r     American Idol C/l/a/y A/i/k/e/n
   Canadian Idol K/a/l/a/n P/o/r/t/e/r    American Almost-Idol C/l/a/y A/i/k/e/n

Advantage: None.

Sorry, the overhype surrounding made-for-TV personalities devoid of unique talent (or a reasonably interesting repertoire) makes this one too close to call.  No better example of the tyrrany of stupid people in large numbers exists.  Neither overtly exhibits any presence of Y chromosome (leading, inexorably, to evidence of secondary male sexual characteristics).  Both are embarrassments to the notion of idolatry.  Equally overhyped, taking into account the relative efficacy of Canadian Hype Machinery working the Canadian population (compared to corresponding American counterparts). And the fact that panties (and, even more frightening, manties) get wet over these two is completely unfathomable.

I know, easy target. It’s Friday, it’s been a rough week, so gimme a break.



5 Responses to “North America Cup #3”

  1. 1 Mel

    But Clay Aiken LOST. He wasn’t the American Idol, Ruben Studdard was. But I agree, Clay is as overhyped as all get-out.

  2. 2 bstewart23

    Good point, hence my minor edit, above. Jeez, it was a rough week.

  3. 3 Tara

    I had this up when my sister came in to my office, and I pointed at Kalan and went, “Come on, that’s a girl.” “It…isnt’?”

  4. 4 Sars

    It’s not just A girl. It’s Leelee Sobieski.

  5. 5 bstewart23

    You guys, it totally is! Funny thing, since Kalan Porter’s voice is decidedly bolder than his Leeleeish appearance. Too bad it’s in the service of mundane twaddle.


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