Rainy Weekend = Movie Weekend

24Jul06

Even more exciting than the fact that the Strangers With Candy movie exceeded my lowered expectations (as a result of so many die-hard SwC series fans who’ve expressed disappointment), was the fact that Toronto’s Cumberland Theatre audience, much-hated for their loudly-vocal self-satisfaction at being such daringly alternative cinéastes simply because they’re seeing a movie not-starring Tom Cruise, managed to keep quiet except during the funnier bits, for which they laughed appropriately (and didn’t overlaugh, as they’re wont to do).  So bravo to you, Cumberland Theatre Patrons of the afternoon of 22 August 2006.

A tip of the hat, too, to the folks responsible for the North American release of Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor), who not only hired Russian-accented artists for English-language dubbing but* employed some clever subtitling (about which I shall not elaborate, so as to not spoil any medium-cool surprises).  Don’t rent it expecting anything of higher calibre than, say, Blade Trinity, but for vampire-hunting eye candy, not insulting to your intelligence (though the mythology comes very close to twaddle), you could do worse.  And you’ll be such a daringly alternative cinéaste for renting a foreign-language film, even if it was the highest-grossing film of all time in Russia.  It doesn’t have Tom Fucking Cruise in it, so your cred’s totally intact.

* you absolutely must watch the Russkie version with English subtitles, something you don’t even need to be told, right?



4 Responses to “Rainy Weekend = Movie Weekend”

  1. 1 Luciferus

    I saw Night Watch, months ago, after the New Yorker review made it seem interesting. The mythology was darn near incomprehensible and inconsistent–but who cares! It was fun, shot in a cool way, edited with style, and had neato subtitle effects. It was a fuck of a lot better then Underworld, which I suppose isn’t saying much. Can you tell I love bad vampire movies? And yes, Virginia, there is a Day Watch.

  2. 2 bstewart23

    Dude, I’m all over Day Watch when it comes out. One of the (former) Russians with whom I work says “it’s ten times better than Night Watch” which leads me to wonder how base-ten superlatives became the norm. Maybe it’s a Russian Thing. Either way, I’m there.

    Dude!!! Trailers!

    And, despite its craptitude, I kinda dug Underworld, but that probably has more to do with the fact that I’ve seen Scott “Speedy” Speedman in a Speedo and, um, drool. Kate Beckinsdale rocks the leather/vinyl look big time, a mitigating factor revealing I-don’t-know-what about me. Strangely, I’m unexcited about renting Underworld 2. That’s undoubtedly due to the marked absence of Speedy in the previews.

    And, speaking of crappy vampire movies, Blade 2 had Guillermo del Toro directing, a plus which by far outweighed Wesley Snipes’ rapid ingestion of scenery. And Blade Trinity had so much going for it: Parker Posey just barely able to get her lines around her prosthetic teeth, a vampire poodle, Dominic (Haakon Myrtvedt) Purcell looking stinkin’ hot and Director/Writer David S. Goyer in the extras, who very much gets me going in a tattooed-love-boy kinda way.  I think I need some action, like, bad.

  3. 3 Luciferus

    I SO loved the Blade movies. All of them. The second especially was gross and fun. I love bad vampire movies…. If we ever meet. I’ll do my BeckinsSale impression from Underworld for you. Trust me. It’s hiLARious.

  4. 4 bstewart23

    BeckinSale. (Fuck!) I am so in need of a trip to NYC, buddy, like, right now, for a whole host of reasons.


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