Inquiring Calgarian Minds…

01Aug06

Top 5 Questions Asked by Reasonably-Attractive, Semi- and Fully-Naked Men in the Gold’s Gym Steam Room in Northwest Calgary:

  1. So, what do you think of Stephen Harper?
  2. How does Toronto feel about the job Mr. Harper’s been doing?
  3. You look like you had a good workout. Married?
  4. So, is it true that everyone in Toronto hates Stephen Harper?
  5. Do you think you people down East will ever give Harper a chance?

Oddly enough, the answer to all of these questions was: “you probably don’t want to go down that particular road.”

Aw, that ain’t fair. I should probably elaborate a bit. From what I can tell, since Alberta overwhelmingly voted for Harper, he’s very much Their Man in Ottawa, their representative and, thus, a representation of them.  So…  To Albertans, I’m guessing that worrying about How The East Feels About Harper is really barely-disguised code for worrying about How The East Feels About Alberta(ns).

And here’s the deal, in case y’all in Third-Rate Texas really want to hear it: What do we think about Alberta? Not much, really, and certainly not very often. Far, far less than Alberta, apparently, wonders about what we think of Alberta. In fact, I’d hazard that the only time The East (or, for that matter, Vancouver, too) really thinks about Alberta is when one of your bonehead-bigot politicians says something monumentally discriminatory and/or stupid. Or when you elect another bonehead-bigot politician to office. Or when you don’t go crazy on your greedy-fuck oil companies when your gas pump prices go up because a single refinery in Lousiana is flooded or when someone farts in Saudi Arabia, when you make the damn stuff just down the road.

Or when you ask us so many variations of the exact, same question in the steam room.

Some of the very friendliest, smartest and honestest people I know come from Alberta (hell, I did), and we still like you, for real. We just have to scratch our heads at how seemingly desperate you are to find out what we think about you.

So there it is. Happy you asked? And, hey, you’ve got a great build, man; you work out a lot?



One Response to “Inquiring Calgarian Minds…”

  1. 1 sassa

    Wow, thanks for being so open minded and not at all biased.


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