Where in the Fuck is Stephen Harper? Part 2

17Aug06

Canadian embarrassment Prime Minister Stephen Harper, too busy with “other commitments” to attend this week’s mediagenic 16th International AIDS Conference — probably a good thing, since boyfriend doesn’t exactly work the camera well and do you seriously think he’d be able to even pretend to play in the same league as Bill Clinton’s intelligence? — is still as far away from those AIDS cooties as possible. So, what’s he up to?

Yesterday: WHITEHORSE, YUKON – At a dinner attended by Yukon territorial dignitaries, Prime Minister Stephen Harper stressed the role tourism will play in building the New North. “The beauty of your land and your way of life are powerful lures that can be capitalized upon, and tourism is the vehicle through which this will be achieved,” said the Prime Minister.

Today: Prime Minister Stephen Harper will attend the official opening of the Jericho Diamond Mine project on Thursday, August 17, 2006. […] “I am proud to have this opportunity to take part in a significant event in Nunavut’s history,” the Prime Minister stated. “This mine project will provide jobs and benefits for the people of Nunavut and will spur continued interest in Canada’s rapidly growing diamond mining sector.” (Jericho Diamond Mine is about 350km southwest of Cambridge Bay)

As far from Toronto as possible

To be even a little bit fair, a Prime Minister does have to visit remote northern communites at least once in his reign. But the timing of this trip’s inidicative of some seriously inept prioritizing. Given Harper’s growing rep at home and abroad as Bush’s lapdog, an opportunity to shine on the world stage simply shouldn’t be ignored.

I figure I’m also doing Harper a favour by warning him that if escaping the possibility of getting AIDS is his goal (by distancing himself geographically from people who are even talking about it) he should seriously watch whose hands he’s shaking. Run, Stephen, run!



4 Responses to “Where in the Fuck is Stephen Harper? Part 2”

  1. 1 John A

    enough about harper consistently being a dumbass (it’s just understood)…who forced you into all those black and white photos? they’re great, but i hope you got paid up front.

    and i love the Chucks. a nice touch.

  2. 2 bstewart23

    The photos were a condition of my parole. My legal team advises that I say nothing more than that, especially that I not mention that the jean cuffs are rolled and I’m wearing a mock-turtleneck, too.

  3. 3 Tim

    Conservatives don’t change…

    “An election is no time to discuss serious issues.”

    Kim Campbell, 1993

    “Unfortunately, the issue has been so politicized this week that this is probably not the time for us to make additional announcements.”

    Stephen Harper, 2006

  4. 4 bstewart23

    Good point. And, seriously, can you choose between laughter or tears when a politician — and one who turns every issue into an opportunity for oversimplified, ultrapartisan assholery — says that an issue is too “politicized” to comment?


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