Ben Stein Can Seriously Start Shutting the Fuck Up Any Time Now

03Oct06

I honestly don’t quite know where to start with the idiocy that is Ben Stein’s attempt to obfuscate the Mark Foley pedophilia scandal:

The Representative Foley “scandal” is really worthy of a whole book on hypocrisy. On the one hand, we have a poor misguided Republican man who had a romantic thing for young boys. He sent them suggestive e-mail. I agree, that’s not great. On the other hand, we have a Democratic party that worships (not likes, WORSHIPS) a man named Bill Clinton who did not send suggestive e-mails as far as we know, but who had a barely legal intern give him oral sex kneeling under his desk in the Oval Office while he talked on the phone to a Congressional Committee Chairman, took great pleasure in putting a cigar in her orifice and then smelling it and tasting it, and having her fellate him when in the sacred seat of power of the world’s leading Republic. And the Democrats cheer themselves hoarse for him. His wife has a great shot at being our next President.

Twenty-two is not “barely legal”, and not even remotely equivalent to “underage”, dick. (I acknowledge that the age of consent in D.C. is 16, thus enabling scumbag politicians from, say, Florida — where consent is 18 — to fuck even younger teenagers when they’re in the nation’s capitol). And will you grasping, asshole Republicans ever shut the fuck up about Clinton? The man’s been out of office for six years, run out of town because of a blowjob, while your king is still sitting pretty on the corpses of the thousands he’s killed through outright lies and unbridled greed.

We have a Republican man in Congress who sent e-mails to teenage boys asking them what they were wearing, and an entire party, the Democrats, whose primary constituency, besides the teachers’ unions, is homosexual men and lesbian women. I hope it won’t come as a surprise to anyone that a big part of male homosexual behavior is interest in young boys. (Take a look at anyone renting Endless Summer next time you are at the video store.)

What the fuck? Seriously: what the fuck?!? And is the first sentence even a complete thought?

Don’t get me wrong. My very best friend is gay. I have many gay friends and they are great people. But how the Democrats, the party of gays, can be coming down this hard on a MC who’s gay is simply beyond belief. One of my top, favorite congressmen, Barney Frank, is openly gay. Might he say a word in defense of his fellow gay MC right about now? Hmm, I thought not.

Unless he’s dealing in some dark irony or Swiftian prank I’m not picking up, the stupidity of Ben Stein is so staggeringly huge, so monumentally offensive in its craven, opportunistic disinformation and misguided distortions as to cause normally-intelligent minds to cease functioning.

Seriously, Stein, shut the fuck up.



12 Responses to “Ben Stein Can Seriously Start Shutting the Fuck Up Any Time Now”

  1. 1 Quinn

    Sing it. That ” but some of my friends are gay” argument pisses me off to no end. christ on a motherfucking cross already.

    ben stein : offically a see you next tuesday.

  2. 2 bstewart23

    Isn’t “poor misguided Republican” both a contradiction in terms and redundant?

  3. 3 Carrie Ann

    He seems to be addressing the GAY aspect as though that’s the real problem, like that’s where everyone’s putting their focus. I admit that it makes a more sensational story, but the issue is the, y’know, pedophilia.

    “I hope it won’t come as a surprise to anyone that a big part of male homosexual behavior is interest in young boys.”

    Oh right, because “interest” in underage girls is definitely not a part of male heterosexual behavior. I’m sure that web site devoted to counting down the minutes until the Olsen twins turned 18 was just in celebration of their right to vote.

    The way Republicans bring up the Lewinski “scandal” whenever one of their flock goes off the path is so pathetic. It’s like they think they can turn back the clock and change those 70% post-scandal approval ratings if they just say “Clinton is a bad man” enough times. Sorry, the nation doesn’t agree. Nobody in their right mind equates consentual sex between adults with pedophilia. That argument is pathetic and a little sick.

  4. 4 Angie

    Seriously? That’s some mind-boggling shit. Since when are homosexuality and pedophelia in any way related? If Foley wants to get it on with adult men anywhere I don’t give a damn, but there’s a monumental difference between that and exploiting a position of power so you can mess around with teenage boys.

    Also, I’d bet that a fair percent of our commanders in chief have had affairs or sex in the Oval Office or whatever, they just weren’t the subject of a witch hunt. The only thing Clinton did that was illegal was lie, and Georgie-poo most certainly has that on his laundry list of sins. Of course, 3000 Americans aren’t dead as a direct result of Clinton’s lie.

    Now I’m going to get Tourrette’s any time I try to watch Ferris Bueller.

  5. 5 bstewart23

    If the Dems don’t ride this issue and ride it hard they simply don’t deserve to be in office. And, come on, you can actually say “this is about Foley and Hastert, not about Clinton and McGreevey, so shut the fuck up.” You guys, borrow some balls from Colbert!

  6. 6 Sars

    Stein and Hastert are both dicks, but Clinton was technically run out of town by term limits. They tried to run him out of town for the hummer; it just didn’t take, quite.

  7. 7 Jacob

    It’s a tad ignorant to dismiss the correlation between homosexuality and pedophilia. The link has been evident throughout history, and even widely accepted in certain societies. It’s called pederasty. It’s not new and it’s not a secret. There are still pro-pederasty activist groups today in the U.S.. They are actually growing, and they have quite a bit of historical precedent. It never ceases to amazing how as individuals clamor to advocate something, they willingly close their eyes to facts.

  8. 8 Jacob

    Oops – pardon the typo! “[C]eases to amaze me…”, that is.

  9. 9 bstewart23

    Totally correct, Sars. I was going for the imagery of Republicans running Clinton out of town, all lynch-mobby an’ shit.

    Jacob, there are historical precedents for many fringe groups whose numbers are growing and whose profound psychological damage to young people is never quite challenged enough. Turning a blind eye to that reality never ceases to amaze me.

    And, may I at this point plead with CNN to stop calling the Foley scandal “steamy”? There’s nothing in this universe less steamy, not even the surface of Pluto. Even the image of Condoleezza Rice spanking a bare-assed Donald Rumsfeld is steamier than the Foley scandal. So cut it out.

  10. 10 Diablevert

    The man was a speechwriter for Nixon. So whaddya expect?

  11. 11 Jthan

    Foley was closeted for SO long, and now that he’s in trouble he’s suddenly openly gay. Thanks for adding to the demonization of gay men everywhere! I personally don’t feel inclined to allow him on the team.


  1. 1 Ben Stein Can Seriously Continue to Start Shutting the Fuck Up Any Time Now, Part 2: The Sequel « bstewart23

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