Actual Gay Conversations #7


This week marked the closing — chaining, actually, due to rent nonpayment — of the doors of the world’s least-sexy gay gym, which happened to be located in the throbbing core of downtown Toronto. This affords the former denizens of that facility the opportunity to explore bold new horizons in gymnasia, including the club to which I belong. Fellow members are (helpfully) bringing their abandoned pals into our club for a look-see. Overheard this morning, this exchange between two attractive-on-the-outside gents:

Existing Member: So, this is the free-weight area. You’ll probably be spending more time downstairs in the yoga and step classes. And in here is the locker room and showers.

Potential New Member: I don’t need to see that.

Existing Member: Really? It’s so much cleaner and well-maintained than yours was, and there’s a whirlpool and steam room. And a sauna that actually works!.

Potential New Member: That’s okay, really, I don’t plan on using the locker room or showers. I’d rather do that at home.

2 Responses to “Actual Gay Conversations #7”

  1. 1 taverbeck

    sometimes we make our own ‘sexy’ at the gym as i recall on occasion. but i would tend to agree – your ex-gym rivals my current gym for the least sexy. at least you had the occasional beefy hairy sexy man to oggle. as opposed to what i have to deal with….

  2. 2 bstewart23

    Well, yeah, yours is almost as bad. On the other hand, you do live in a city which boasts one of the most sexy gay gyms in the world, so I think the solution to your situation is fairly clear-cut.

    And, for readers unfamiliar with our use of the word “sexy” in this regard, we’re not referring to flat-out humping on the bench press — though I’m sure there’s some porn video somewhere, filmed on the premises, which would refute the claim. It’s a flirty electricity — “sexy” v. “sex” — in which eye contact and knowing smiles (and nothing more, for the moment) are exchanged, rather than

    “Oh my god! He looked at me! What do I do? WhatdoIdo? Lookattheground, lookattheground.” Or

    “Oh, is that my former workout partner I see over there, on the other side of the continent, thereby enabling me to avoid even friendly eye contact with people I see with greater regularity than I do my boss at work?”

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