My Parents Insist on Reviewing the Popular Culture


Me: So, I bought an interesting documentary on DVD this week, about the artist Andy Goldsworthy, who takes found objects in nature and creates sculptures which not only reveal unexpectedly surreal beauty within the objects but also comment on the landscape in whic…

Mom: We went to see The Departed this week.

Me: Oh, how was it? I’ll probably rent it when it comes out; I’m not much of a fan of that DiCaprio kid.

Mom: Well, it was very good, but very violent. And that boy is very good in it.

Dad: And the language!

Me: Well, what were you expecting from a Martin Scorcese film?

Mom: Well, The Godfather wasn’t that bad.

Me: You mean The Godfather, the one directed by Francis Ford Coppola, with the endless mob slayings and horse-beheading?

Dad: Mother, I think he’s getting a dig in at your expense, that you said the wrong director.

Mom: Well, how were we to know it was going to be so cruel and bloody?

Me: I dunno, maybe the gun which comprises 95% of the movie poster. Or, wait, maybe the “Rated R for strong brutal violence, pervasive language, some strong sexual content and drug material” that it got from the MPAA?

Dad: Now we’re expected to research what the AMP says about it? They should put warnings up.

Me: They do, on the poster. Also, the big “R” is a bit of a giveaway.

Mom: Well, I liked Kill Bill, and that was “R”, but then I do like that little Uma Thurman.

Me: Little? She’s six feet tall.

Dad: She’s not six feet tall!

Me: Okay, if you say so. So I guess you guys haven’t been to see Jackass Number Two?

Dad: Aw, don’t be stupid. Who’d waste money to see those stupid guys?

Me: A big chunk of America? Me? It was funny.

Mom: It was stupid, and I didn’t even need to see it to know that. That’s the kind of film they should put warnings on.

Me: They do.

Mom: Good, because that kind of film is for stupid people. They wouldn’t even read the warnings anyway.

6 Responses to “My Parents Insist on Reviewing the Popular Culture”

  1. 1 Ian

    Dude, I think your mom just called you stupid. Still, your parents sound pretty cool even to be talking about Kill Bill and Uma.

  2. 2 bstewart23

    Though my parents do, indeed, have Moments of Cool, I have doubts my Mom actually saw much more than ten minutes of their Kill Bill rental before falling asleep. But she was present in the room for the full movie, so she gets points for that. Then again, they both hated Sin City, and those are some serious demerits right there. Think I should burn the Grind House trailer to DVD and send it to them, for a definitive scoring?

  3. 3 poojaloo

    my parents (conservative would be a good word) went to see WEDDING CRASHERS with some friends, because the Wall Street Journal was trying to be hip and gave it a good review. i don’t think they lasted more than an hour. hee!

    we kids then instituted a “you can’t go to another movie without getting an ok from us.” hopefully, that will help.

  4. 4 taverbeck

    oh no!!! the ‘grindhouse’ trailer has been pulled. guess mom won’t get to see that one until it hits theaters in ’07. which i’m sure you’ll have a tender moment with her by buying tickets on your next visit home.

  5. 5 Sheila

    Also, your mom was right: that boy really was very good in The Departed. And I neither expected nor wanted to like his performance, having a clean record of loathing him in pretty much everything he’s done since Gilbert Grape, right up on through The Aviator.

  6. 6 anne

    Your parents are adorable. My parents watch foreign movies and then extrapolate whole countries from them. Belgium? All the boys there are gay; they saw Ma Vie En Rose and they know all about it. Palestinians are all morally conflicted bombers (Paradise Now) and all Spaniards support euthanasia (The Sea Inside). Sometimes I wish they’d stick to blockbusters.

    “That little Uma Thurman.” Perfect.

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