New Year’s Resolutions Already Broken

04Jan07

3) Watched more than 30 seconds of Global News Morning.

7) Used the non-word “woof”. Sarcastically, but still.

14) Referred by name, in an online forum I frequent, to An Unknown Blogger for whom unprincipled and unclever outings of closeted celebrities figure largely in his campaign for self-aggrandizement.

23) Used a swear word in telephone conversation with my Mom. It was a reference to both Mel Gibson and an excretory orifice — and therefore entirely appropriate — but I’m nonetheless sorry, Mom.

51) Did not lose five pounds in four days.

77) Spoke ill of the dead. Specifically, The Grateful Dead. Man, those hippies sucked.

96) Momentarily entertained thought of seeing Dreamgirls. I really didn’t have to admit to that slip, since it was so fleeting. Watched “The Killer Cut” of American Psycho as penance.



4 Responses to “New Year’s Resolutions Already Broken”

  1. 1 Sars

    “Used a swear word in telephone conversation with my Mom. It was a reference to both Mel Gibson and an excretory orifice — and therefore entirely appropriate — but I’m nonetheless sorry, Mom.”

    Dude: Call up *my* mom. She works blue and she haaaaaaaaaates The Passion Of The Mel.

    And word on #77.

    And happy new year!

  2. 2 MGF

    I really enjoyed Dreamgirls, but to each his own… Even if you’d rather rip your eyeballs out of your head than see the movie, you have to admit the following video is a riot!! – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqjwVwESgfE

  3. 3 bstewart23

    Oh my. Do you realize how much porn I’ll need to watch to get that out of my mind?

  4. Re 14, glad to hear I’m not the only one who’s sickened by the idea that individuals should sacrifice their privacy and personal choices for the sake of…goodness knows what.


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