Archive for the ‘Gymnauseam’ Category

Top 5 Missing (or Dead) Ex-Boyfriends Top 10 DVDs Watched More Than 40 Times Top 10 Friends Who’ve Done Porn Top 10 Relatives I Haven’t Even Thought About In Years Top 10 Swear-Word Mash-Ups (#3: Fucktacular) Top 8 Entertainment Weekly Subscription Issues Not Delivered By Canada Post Top 50,000 Things I’d Do To/With Stanley Tucci […]

From Zoom “Targeted Lifestyle Media” Media, in the men’s locker room at my gym: “Targeted Lifestyle Media” I can’t speak for other men at my gym, but I’m guessing that the whole Vespa, ponytail and sassy-scarf, targeted-lifestyle market is rather limited in that arena. Okay, I’ll give them the Vespa thing; it is a largely […]

Decided by a group shaving at the sinks at my gym this morning — we need a new sign in the locker room: “Due to unprecedented damage to the ceramic floor tiles, the wearing of optimistically-sized metal cockrings in the shower room will be prohibited until further notice.”

This week marked the closing — chaining, actually, due to rent nonpayment — of the doors of the world’s least-sexy gay gym, which happened to be located in the throbbing core of downtown Toronto. This affords the former denizens of that facility the opportunity to explore bold new horizons in gymnasia, including the club to […]

Setting the scene: Two gay guys and one straight guy, shaving at the sinks in the locker room at my (mostly straight) gym a few weeks ago. A (presumably straight) locker room attendant is bent over, cleaning the floor nearby. A third gay guy approaches the sinks… Gay Guy 3: Tell me that’s not poppers […]

Rockwell “Rocky” Balboardroom “Trying hard now…” From his pinstriped suits to his Dale Carnegie-style, aggressive overfriendliness, Rockwell Balboardroom is clearly a man of power and influence, having achieved (one assumes) a considerable measure of success in his 20-odd years in investment banking (or advertising senior account-repping for Canada’s Conservative “party” (or some other odious profession)). […]

The Peninsula Pooper Two truisms: Everybody reads on the toilet; hell, that’s the only way I get through my issue of Entertainment Weekly in time for the next to take its place on the tank lid. Nobody likes to poop on a toilet that’s not their own. (Or do they?) It’s always bothersome when you’re […]